The Wikileaks Email leak revealed some information today that will rock the Democratic National Committee’s world. According to emails sent from Hillary’s private server, it appears that the Clinton’s hired a poolboy named Benghazi and immediately fired him the next day.
This information is going to ruffle some feathers.
In the emails, it shows that the Clinton Foundation actually scouted the United States looking for a poolboy named Benghazi. A few craigslist ads later, the Clintons had found their poolboy and hired him on the spot, giving him room and board for free and let him eat “whatever he could find laying around.” The boy arrived at their Arkansas mansion just days after receiving employ.
Benghazi worked for low wages but was put on a pedestal by Chelsea Clinton. According to the emails, Chelsea had a romantic affair with Benghazi one night when Mr. and Mrs. Clinton were at a gala event. His date with the former president’s daughter went swimmingly, as he wined and dined with Chelsea in a hip urban neighborhood in Little Rock. According to the email leak, Chelsea then kissed Benghazi on the cheek and walked him to his pool house where he was quartered.
Benghazi became close with the Clinton’s, for a while at least. When terror struck Libya, the secretary of state had to cover all her tracks and decided to “get rid of” Benghazi. He was fired the next morning.
just got Benghazi to be our poolboy. please pay him in nickles and pennies, will be funny. haha we are destroying america.
ps. chelsea wants to meet him
to: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
just went out with benghazi, had a great time. so cute. love him. we had dinner and wine at a cool place in little rock. totes dope. i kissed him on the cheek. hope julian assange doesn’t find out about this lol ok
According to the emails, Benghazi then moved to Chicago and unearthed a time machine. As a baseball aficionado, Benghazi decided to transport himself back in time to game 6 of the NLCS in 2003 between the Cubs and Marlins. Sitting down the third base line, just one seat away from the field, Benghazi watched as the Cubbies took a 3-0 lead into the 8th inning. A foul ball came his way and Benghazi reached out of his seat, over the railing, and disrupted the flight path of the ball – which was heading directly into Moises Alou’s glove.
found the time machine, sorry for all the trouble. am now steve bartman.
Benghazi – who used the pseudonym Steve Bartman – was immediately blamed for the eventual collapse the Cubs faced that game, and for the remainder of the series.
Knowing he had no place in that timeline, Benghazi transported himself to Boston in the late 1910’s. He began working for the Boston Red Sox and was a direct advisor to Harry Frazee. Frazee was attempting to make a splash with a solid trade to bring pitching to the Sox, so Benghazi told him that he could fetch a pretty penny from the Yanks for superstar slugger Babe Ruth.
hey sorry just sold babe ruth to the yanks. hope i didn’t fuck up. can i come back to the present now? is it good in the future? i miss technology. don’t know how i’m sending this email but i guess the time machine has email still. cool. send doritos.
Frazee seemed skeptical at first, knowing the importance and power that a man like Ruth wielded, so he initially turned down the idea. Benghazi was persistent, though, and eventually got Frazee so drunk that he could convince him of anything. Plus, Benghazi had a $10,000 debt with a local bookie over a dice game gone awry, so he could really use the 10% commission from the sale.
Ruth was traded to the Yankees just hours later, but Benghazi still had his knees busted up with a baseball bat because he didn’t figure in the interest he owed on top of the $10k. The rest is history.